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Answers for the Newly Engaged | Bite-size Vol.1.3

This week I want to talk about just a little thing physically, which is most cases happens to be a big thing indeed. One of the biggest things probably. Because if you don’t know who’s coming to your wedding… Well, that’s not a great way to countdown the last few weeks.

I’ve learned, over the last handful of years, that getting RSVPs sorted can be hard bloody work. Alright, it’s a fucking nightmare sometimes, so it’s best to limit that risk right off the bat.

RSVPs: friend of foe? Usually foe, but after reading this, hopefully friend!

What’s the best way to get our RSVPs back?

Okay, generally the rule of thumb is to make it easy. Easy for them, yes, and easy for you too. I emphasise this because most people really focus on the former part of that sentence and give guests about 3-5 ways to RSVP because they have a huge majority of people coming and it’ll make it easier for them to pick the way they like best.

As much as this is very kind of you, you’re going to make your wedding planning a slight nightmare near the end stages, trying to work out if everyone has RSVP-ed or if you think you’re still waiting for anyone. In my example, you’ll need to cross reference up to 5 areas for each person if you’re not careful, and trust me when I say, it’s most likely that you’ll need to chase a few, so it’s best to play it simple.

Some typical choices people opt for when choosing how to RSVP:

  • Traditional RSVP postal card
  • Telephone(s) or text RSVP
  • Email RSVPs
  • Wedding website RSVPs
  • Wedding App
  • Facebook group confirmation
  • QR code

But which ones shall I choose? Ah grasshopper, you only really need just the one.

Picking many will likely confuse your guests in general. Choice rather complicates things as opposed to simplifying them. Mark my words, they’ll likely choose to do a couple, just to be sure (which will make all your brain feel a little crazy, with all the cross-referencing) or perhaps they’ll call you and ask the best way to do it before they do anyway which spoils the point. All much of a muchness!

Instead, choose they way you know most of your guests will have knowledge of. It’s no good using a QR code if your poor Granny isn’t sure what one is. Poor Granny!

Postal RSVPs is a time-honoured tradition, so might be best to go that way if you have lots of older or digitally-unfamiliar family members.

If you are next-to-certain everyone on your list can all use web browsers or email, digital may be the way to go for you. It’s all individual and depends on the people you’re inviting, but one thing is for sure:

Go with the majority vote, on this one.

If you’re thinking there will be a handful of guests who are not able to RSVP in the way you have chosen, I’ve got a little fix: put a little star next to their name on your list-i-wink. A week after you send your out invitations, give them a quick phone call or visit to see if they got it recently, and check if they’re okay RSVP-ing in the way you guys have suggested – if not, give them a new way, such as text or over the phone – then you’re totally sorted.

Complicating the process any further can be tricky and make information gathering a bit much for any Bride or Groom. I mean, imagine if you need to collect dietary choices or allergies too?? I’m sweating thinking about it.

Trust me peeps, one way is good. If you have to, at the most, pick two. My preference will always be by postal mail – everyone knows how it works and there’s the added benefit of not having to include a long email address or website address on your invitations; call me a traditionalist, but I do love home addresses on printed wedding stationery.

In short: Less options = easier for them, less admin = easier for you. Win-win!

Top tip for using postal RSVPs:

Gotta tell you this, it’s a gem of a tip!

A great way to match up your RSVPs to your names list is to number them so their very easy to look through and check off your list as needs be. Simply pop a digit on the envelope/postcard and on your spreadsheet too, next to the names.

“I don’t want to spoil my beautiful wedding stationery with numbers” I hear you cry!!

Ultraviolet invisible pens are amazing and make quick work of it! You don’t have to concentrate on it being beautiful or perfect, just get the number on there and use a UV light to find out which is which when they come back.

Super easy and you’ll feel like a spy, which in my book is the best reason to do anything.

Until next time, sending masses of my love. Adios!

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